Do's and Dont's of Online Dating

To continue from our conversation with Alexandrea on the TMECenter Radio Show, we would like to add the Do’s and Don’ts for online dating that we started to list on the show.

Do
1. Make your ‘about me’ section short, sweet and inviting

2. Post a picture that shows your personality

3. Complete your profile 100%

4. Know and verbalize what your priorities are

5. If you choose to meet in person, DO meet at a public, central place. (Starbucks, Barnes and
Nobles) - meet in the day time, cameras around, make sure 2 other people know where you will
be and with whom

6. Keep it light - Don’t start talking about all your traumatic experiences just yet

7. Know what you bring to the table and what you want!

8. Be open-minded. Someone might just surprise you!

Don’t
1. Reveal too much all at once

2. Commit to one person at first

3. Reveal contact information

4. Meet until you have talked to them on the phone

5. Ask too many questions

6. Lead them on. Not your type? Let them know!

7. Do anything you are uncomfortable with

8. Don’t be swayed by the competition - be confident in your uniqueness, remain true to yourself
and your needs

To everyone who called in, tuned in and encouraged others to join, Thank you so much!

Didn’t get a chance to tune in, listen to the recording here:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tmec/2013/02/14/finding-love-online

Follow them on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/TMECenter

Tweet Alexandrea at
http://twitter.com/ajwilson412

Blogs at www.TMECenter.org

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Confessions Of a Single Girl- Loving

February.. Honestly, my least favorite month of the year.

Valentines day is in February..

Why must there be a whole national holiday which focuses on couples and being in love? At least during the other holidays, even if I am single, I can still take part of the activities like a normal person. On Valentines day, I can't even buy groceries without the cashier asking things like, "Romantic dinner planned for tonight?"
“No, complete stranger. I am buying groceries for myself because I am very single”.

It can be a stressful, sad day... However, keeping my new plan in place of doing new things, becoming a better person, and waiting on God, this year I decided I will do things differently. It is a 3-part plan.

Part 1: I will think of a person, maybe a friend or family member, who I think may be feeling the same thing as me.. I will give this person a gift of some sort. Something to make that person feel special and loved. I've learned that by making someone else happy, I make myself happy.

Part 2: I will take this time.. Not just Valentines day, but the whole month of February.. To improve my relationships. I will take the time to check up on my family & friends more often, make it a point to tell them I love them, talk to them on the phone, make time to spend with them.

Part 3: I will love myself. I will treat myself to something I've been wanting for awhile. I will do something that I love to do, but don't always get the chance to. I will pamper myself with a haircut, manicure, & pedicure.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that I forget to do these things. I assume those people know how much I appreciate them, I forget that someone else may be feeling just like me, & I forget to do things I enjoy. So this month, I will take the initiative.. I will call. I will talk to them. I will share moments. I will give. I will take care of myself.

John 13:34 says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." It does not say love your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. The Bible says to love. Just love.

Only at www.LoveUnthorned.com

Feeling Lonely at Night?

I am pretty positive that I am not the only one who has had those nights that seemed to never end. You know those nights where you feel really lonely, you can't sleep, and it's too late to call anyone....over the years I have learned a few things that I can do to try to make it through those nights and I thought that I should share some of them with you.

Let me know in the comments how you deal with these feelings because I am sure that we can all help one another!

1. Go to bed early. Often times we start to feel sad just because our body is tired and it's our way of feeling "cranky". So make sure you're getting enough rest by going to bed before 11pm if you can.

2. Invest in your friendships. It's tempting to get so busy with our lives that we ignore our friendships. Or you may think that facebooking your friends is enough but it's important to spend face-to-face time with our friends. So be sure that you are taking the time to actually spend time with your friends in real life and not just on the internet.

3. Spend time with God. God wants to spend time with you and when you choose to spend time with him, you will also find that you will have less anxiety about being alone.
Don't underestimate just how peaceful God's presence can make you feel. So be sure to spend daily time with God through devotions and worship.
One of my friends says that she likes to believe that when she feels lonely, it's God's way of trying to connect with her.

4. Go out during the day. All of this may seem unrelated to being able to help you at night, but it TRULY does help you feel better at night. We all have our routines but try something different. After work, go to a bookstore and read for 20 minutes. Take your children to the park or take them to the library after school to do their homework (instead of at home) and you go and enjoy a magazine. You'll be less likely to feel pangs of loneliness at night if you choose to invest your day time hours wisely.

5. Play music. Sometimes our feelings of loneliness can cause us to struggle with insomnia so instead of staying up all night watching TV-turn on some soft music or use a sound machine to quiet your mind and comfort you.

6. Read. Did you know that people who read are less likely to feel lonely than people who don't? Yes, it's true! So read a book before bed. Maybe try a classic piece by writers Jane Austen or Charlotte Bronte.

7. Admit it. Maybe you're reading this-at night and you're already feeling lonely and you just want to get past this moment....then I say, admit the truth. Tell yourself, "I am feeling lonely right now but I know that this feeling will pass and that I will be ok. This is normal and I'm not weird or crazy for feeling this way or feeling sad about it, I will be ok. This will pass." Sometimes just allowing ourselves to feel the way we feel can help us out a lot. When we ignore our feelings we can cause more anxiety and sadness, so admit it and then remember that this moment WILL pass.

8. Write. Write in your journal and write out your feelings and thoughts....journaling is an excellent way to find out what you're really thinking. Often times we ignore our feelings because we don't have time to deal with them so write out how you feel and you may find that you can find the root of our loneliness just by stopping to write about it and once you find the root, you can begin to work towards solutions.

What do you do when you feel lonely? Let me know in the comments below and be sure to share this with your friends since you never know what someone is struggling with...

(Image Courtesy of [Evgeni Dinev]/http://www.freedigitalphotos.net)

Confessions of a Single Girl- Waiting...

January… such a bittersweet month for a single person.

On one hand, I'm happy to have had a great holiday season spent with family. On the other, I'm grateful for the start of a New Year with new possibilities. The holiday season can be tough on a single person. You look around the table at Christmas dinner and realize you and your little cousins are the only ones without a special someone to share it with. So a new year with new possibilities is gladly welcomed.

Everyone is making New Year’s resolutions and plans for the new year, and you can't help but wonder if this year will be the year you meet that special someone.

The truth is no one knows…

You can't plan these things…You can't schedule it into your year…

The toughest part about being single is simply waiting. So I asked myself, "Self, who are you waiting on?" If I'm honest with myself, I would say “for the perfect man”. Why am I waiting on a man? Pssh.. I will NOT wait on a man. This year, I will try new things, find a new hobby, go to new places, meet new people, enhance my cooking skills.. In short, do anything and everything that I enjoy and will make me a better person.

After all, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11.

God has a plan for me this year.. I will wait on Him.

Only on www.LoveUnthorned.com

Keeping Up with those Resolutions!

It’s a new year! 2012 went by so fast.

It’s typical for people to be making New Year resolutions at this time of the year. It’s a way to drop old habits and adapt new ones. It’s been my experience that my goals are made and I’m passionate about them until about the second month and I’m bored and can’t be bothered. I created a list of things that helps me to stay focused, hopefully they can also help you.

Here is a list of 4 things that will help you accomplish your resolutions for this year:

1. Make your goals realistic
2. Be specific
3. Start small
4. Utilize Checkpoints during the year. Every month or three months, check where you are on getting your resolutions done.

What are some of your personal resolutions? What has worked in keeping you focused on them?

“May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” – Colossians 1:11

Oh yea, Happy New Year!

LU

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Thirteen tips for dealing with a really lousy day by Gretchen Rubin

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: 13 tips for dealing with a really lousy day.

We all have really lousy days from time to time. A bad work or school evaluation, a potential crush who turns out not to be interested, a fight with your mother-in-law, a worrisome call from a doctor…lousy days take many forms.

Here are some tips for getting through it:

1. Resist the urge to “treat” yourself. Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a few beers…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans,” ask yourself – will it REALLY make you feel better? It might make you feel worse.

2. Do something nice for someone else. “Do good, feel good” – this really works. A friend going through a horrible period told me that she was practically addicted to doing good deeds; that was the only thing that made her feel better. However, don’t put too much pressure on yourself now. Don’t start planning an elaborate surprise party; email some digital photos to the grandparents.

3. Distract yourself. When the Big Girl was born, she had to be in Neonatal Intensive Care for a week. I spent every hour at the hospital, until the Big Man dragged me away to go to an afternoon movie. I didn’t want to go, but afterwards, I realized that I was much better able to cope with the situation after having had a bit of relief. Watching a funny movie or TV show is a great way to take a break. It might even be a good idea to have an emergency stash ready by the TV, for bad times.

4. Seek inner peace through outer order. Soothe yourself by tackling a messy closet, an untidy desk, or crowded countertops. The sense of tangible progress, control, and orderliness will lighten your mood. This always works for me – and fortunately, my family is messy enough that I always have plenty of therapeutic clutter at hand.

5. Tell yourself, “Well, at least I…” Get some things accomplished. Yes, you had a horrible day, but at least you went to the gym, or played with your kids, or walked the dog, or read a magazine.

6. Exercise is an extremely effective mood booster – but be careful of exercise that allows you to ruminate. For example, if I go for a walk when I’m upset about something, I often end up feeling worse, because the walk provides me with uninterrupted time in which to dwell obsessively on my troubles.

7. Stay in contact. When you’re having a lousy day, it’s tempting to retreat into isolation. Studies show, though, that contact with other people boosts mood. So try to see or talk to people, especially people you’re close to.

8. It’s a cliché, but things really will look brighter in the morning. Go to bed early and start the next day anew. Also, sleep deprivation puts a drag on mood in the best of circumstances, so a little extra sleep will do you good.

9. Remind yourself of your other identities. If you feel like a loser at work, send out a blast email to engage with college friends. If you think members of the PTA are mad at you, don’t miss the spinning class where everyone knows and likes you.

10. Keep perspective. Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a month? In a year?” I recently came across a note I’d written to myself years ago, that said “TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I dimly remember the panic I felt about dealing with taxes that year; but it’s all lost and forgotten now.

11. Write it down. When something horrible is consuming my mind, I find that if I write up a paragraph or two about the situation, I get immense relief.

12. Use the emergency mood tool-kit. For an emergency happiness intervention, try these tips for getting a boost in the next HOUR.

13. Be grateful. Remind yourself that a LOUSY day isn’t a CATASTROPHIC day. Be grateful that you’re still on the “lousy” spectrum.

This article was taken from The Happiness Project. Link is here:
http://www.happiness-project.com/happin … dnesday-4/

Three Reasons To Date A Married Man By: Ronke Alao

Women who knowingly date married men are often viewed with contempt. Why would anyone choose to be with a man who is already committed in marriage to another woman? Well, if you are single and considering dating a married man, I will give you 5 solid reasons why you should go ahead and do it.

1. It’s Nobody’s Business Who You Date.

Yes, you are an adult and if you’d rather be another woman’s husband, that is your decision. You can live with it. Hopefully, the wife of the man you are dating is a nutcase and when she finds out, things WILL turn violent. That’s cool too. If you go missing, it’s no body’s cup of tea, right? You are an adult. You can deal with the consequences. Whatever evil comes out of it is yours for the keeping. No one needs to feel sorry for you or empathize with you.

2. It Feels Great Being Second-best

It’s every woman’s dream to be second-best isn’t it? It doesn’t matter what he says, “I love you”, “I only care about you”, blah, blah, blah; you know he’s lying. You are pretty sure you’ll always be his second best.

3. It Feels Great To Be Used And ….Dumped

It’s a given, you know you are been used. No need to “suspect” it or hope it’s not happening. You can count on being used and dumped.

Okay, I probably have you confused by now but you get my drift.

There are never any “good” reasons to date a married man. I know sometimes, we women get suckered into it by sweet-talking snakes who camouflage as men but good never comes out of it.

When you are dating a married man, chances are he’s given you ‘genuine’ reasons why he’s cheating on his wife and how miserable she makes him feel. I don’t care whether he’s married to the devil’s cousin; he exchanged vows with her, not you. If he won’t respect that, he’s not worthy to have you as a friend not to talk of having you as his wife someday.

If he says he’s depressed, what are you trying to be to him? His anti-depressant?

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are helping him. He might be sick, but don’t sign up to be his doctor or therapist. Honey, you need to love yourself past that. You are beautiful and believe it or not, you deserve someone who will LOVE you. A man who is currently cheating on his wife doesn’t have the ability to love you the way you should be loved.

If he says he’s been disrespected or ridiculed by his wife, he’s only fooling you. He is the one who keeps disrespecting his wedding vows, his wife and his kids if he has any.

If he whispers sweet nothings into your ear; “You make me feel alive, important and loved.” don’t believe a word of it.

If you make him feel that important, he would have divorced his wife and married you. Also, a man who cheats on his wife to feel important is sick. Sorry but I have to be frank with you. Marriage is a commitment; it’s not all ice-cream and chocolate. We all have to move beyond wanting to feel good all the time to staying committed to our spouse and staying true to our vows. That is what love is. Real love doesn’t engage in illicit sex. If he really loves you, how many of his family members has he introduced you to as his girlfriend, fiancée or whatever?

Whatever is done in the dark and in secret doesn’t speak love. No, it speaks shame.

I know sometimes, men who cheat on their wives sometimes paint this picture, like they are honorable and all that.

He tells you he is definitely going to divorce his wife. He is just waiting for the right time.

Perhaps he wants his daughter to graduate high school first or his wife has just being diagnosed with cancer and he thinks now is not the time. He makes you think he’s this caring guy who still cares about his terrible wife and his innocent kids right? It’s all Bologna Sandwich (BS)! The truth is he won’t leave his wife for you. He loves having his wife and having you at the same time. He gets a weird fulfillment from that. He doesn’t want to not have his kids with him too.

You can wait for him till you’re grey in the head, but he won’t leave his wife for you.

My dear, stop lying to yourself about how it’s okay and how “his marriage was a mistake in the first place how “ she never really loved him”. If his marriage is hurting, let him deal with it. Don’t let him drag you into his mess. Stop stripping yourself of self-worth. You deserve more than a lying-cheat. God who created you thinks of you as beautiful and precious, don’t let someone use and toss you into the trash can.

You are a treasure and there is a handsome, Prince Charming somewhere who needs to find you. But he won’t as long as you keep hiding behind the cheater and fake prince charming.

BIO

Ronke Alao is a writer who gives time-tested and simple principles to help women enjoy their relationships and marriages. Her methods teaches women how to get past the confusion of dating and getting to the place where they really have fulfilling relationships and marriage.

She is known for her ‘up-close and personal’ style of getting her message across and drawing lessons from her personal experience. She is married to her best friend, Wale, who is her biggest cheerleader. Her online newsletter, EveryWoman’s Heart,(http://www.everywomansheart.com) is read in over 72 countries.