Not good enough

‘I’m too fat’, ‘too thin’, ‘too short’, ‘too dark’, ‘too light’, ‘my lips are way too big’, ‘too small’, ‘my stomach is too puffy’, I want bigger feet’, ‘smaller feet’, ‘longer hair’, ‘straighter nose’, ‘longer nose’, ‘I want bigger muscles’, ‘I want to be taller’, ‘I want to be shorter’. Sounds familiar? In a society where being your-self is not acceptable, everyone now has something they want changed. We get caught up in the glitz and the glam, not really knowing the truth behind the ‘perfect’ model walking down the runway or the muscular wrestler inside the ring.

Perfection. What is that really? Living up to something you will never attain? Always working towards something greater than yourself, knowing that you will never become it?

Our culture is always changing. Did you know there was once a time where a size thirteen is what our society called perfect? Now it has changed to a size zero. Therefore, since we live in a bipolar society where one day it’s thirteen the next it’s zero, we should not allow it to instruct us on how to look and what to live up to. God said in Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”
Self esteem is reconstructed in many ways but the first thing is changing the way we think about it. Romans 12:2 says “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”. So who will you follow? Society norms or follow the will God has for you? Society says you are too fat, that you need to be more muscular, but God says in Psalms 139: 13-14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well”.

The Quickie, Bite-Sized Guide to Surviving the Holidays as a Singleton by Nancee-Laetitia Marin

The Quickie, Bite-Sized Guide to Surviving the Holidays as a Singleton

by Nancee-Laetitia Marin



Chestnuts roasting on an open fire—and all that jazz and rock 'n roll. Mad holiday shopping sprees. Caroling out in the crisp winter wonderland. Nativity scenes, Christmas tree lights, camera, action. Ah, that wonderful time of the year to enjoy the festivities with your favorite people—friends, family, and that special someone...



Oh, wait a minute. Special someone? Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis? Oops, Santa must have skipped that part! You might think he must have had selective amnesia when he was checking your list! Everyone seems to be all coupled up for the holidays! It just makes you go into a full-on bah-humbug mode. So much for dreaming of a white Christmas when you're feeling so blue! It's not easy being single, especially when you're already stressed out and overwhelmed around this time of the year.



So what's a good, nice yet mateless person to do during the holidays? Ah, that nagging feeling of loneliness and isolation! Let's face it—being single, to put it bluntly, DOES SUCK, whether you've experienced the passing of a constant companion, gotten divorced, dumped mercilessly, or simply haven't been able to find that special person for a considerable amount of time. I can attest to that, having been SINGLE for EVERY SINGLE holiday season, 33 years in a row—and being 86'd just before my birthday and the holiday season this year! (Thankfully, things have turned around in that department quite recently, but that's entirely another topic for another time!)



But remember—just like how that good ol' Jacko tune goes: You are NOT alone. We came into this world single, and die single. That's just a plain fact. We spend a huge chunk of our lives single. Yet we are made to feel like the fifth wheel, especially in church communities where coupledom (especially of the matrimonial sort), quite unfortunately, seems to be the Holy Grail. (Apparently, they don't call the "singles" group "singles" for nothing—a group for people who feel simply "singled" out!)



But, good singles, all rejoice! Here's the truth:



*Almost half of the US population is single. More than 96 million Americans—43% of adult US residents—are unmarried. This is the highest percentage ever.



*30% of 45-64-year-olds are single!



*The percentage of divorced singles has doubled in 30 years and the never-marrieds have increased from 5.3% to 9.6%.



There you have it, America—and the rest of the world! Singleness isn't a disease or a rarity. You ARE NOT an anomaly.



So what's a good, nice, decent, yet mateless person to do? Quite a few, actually! Here are some pointers to get your motor running:





1. Connect with people!



-Have a fun get-together with friends and/or family—meals, karaoke or jam sessions, game night, or whatever your imagination conjures up!



-Join or form social or support groups, be it church groups or other religious/spiritual groups (depending on your persuasion), special interest/activity groups online (sites such as Meetup.com, social networking, online communities or distance programs/courses), or locally offline (in real-time). Yes, there is SOMETHING and SOMEONE for everyone, no matter how quaint or quirky or unusual your tastes, views, or preferences, no matter which side of Planet Earth you live on. You don't have to feel isolated. There are people out there who are in alignment with your goals, views, desires, and interests. All you have to do is to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and JUST DO IT! Network to your heart's content. And yes, you'll NEVER know whom you're going to meet! You could meet THE ONE that way! If not, just keep on truckin'! You have nothing to lose and a lot more to gain by pursuing your passions more deeply and intensely. You become a well-rounded individual. You have a lot more to offer to the world. When and if you do meet that person, you've become an asset to your partner.



Belonging to social groups has its own additional perks. It has been shown to improve physical and mental health. The support in social groups provides more strength, good feelings, resiliency in facing challenges, better coping, and increased immunity. Now you've got no excuse to have a lonely pity party!



-Volunteer for a cause close to your heart or whatever fancies you, whether it be the animal shelter, feeding the homeless, tutoring schoolchildren, etc. The list is endless. Again, you'll never know whom you're going to meet there! It also gives you a sense of worthiness as a human being. You are contributing something of great value to others. Realize that you DO have the resources that others don't have. Be grateful for this fact. Count your blessings. Remember that you are spreading love. This is definitely worth repeating like a broken record, but remember this spiritual principle: you'll reap what you sow. You'll receive the rewards in some shape or form. The more love you give, the more will return to you.



2. Do something you (would) enjoy!



Do whatever floats your boat—pets, retail therapy (just be careful not to OD on it!), music, arts and crafts, mani/pedi/massage, take a trip, or just do something a little unusual to break up the monotony, as long as you don't run the risk of severe injury and breaking the law, of course! (Perhaps take up knitting sweaters for miniature Dachshunds—well, you get the idea.) Entertain yourself! Amuse yourself! Discover or rediscover your passions and interests as well. What makes you tick? What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about? Do things that you love. God has put them in you for a reason. Spend time with people who share the same interests or at least people who support you in your endeavors and passions. Do something you've always wanted to do but never got around to it. You'll be surprised. You'll realize that you've got MORE POWER than you thought you did. That in itself brings more self-confidence and self-esteem. More positive domino effect to follow. And yes, you'll never know that you'll find what you've been looking for by just doing what you've always enjoyed doing! Or perhaps you'll stumble upon new discoveries! The possibilities are just plain exciting, so open yourself up to them!



3. Know thyself! Strut your stuff!



Embrace your best physical features (everyone has them!), your talents, your qualities—the things that make you GREATLY UNIQUE and UNIQUELY GREAT! And why NOT make them EVEN BETTER? Whatever goal you want to achieve, make sure it comes from WITHIN you, inspired and fueled by ONLY your authentic passion, your own standards, not what others think you should adopt!



4. Dream on, set your intention, and JUST DO IT!



What is it that you've always wanted to do? What would make you feel better about yourself (in a constructive way, of course)? Let's say you want to find that love of your life or you're feeling inspired to get slim to look more attractive and/or to improve or maintain your health. Just give it a shot. I can guarantee you that once when you start feeling more energized, trimmer, and healthier physically, your self-esteem and self-confidence level will soar. With it you may attract opportunities and people you've desired. Again, be open to possibilities!



Let others know about your goals and desires. Declare them. Shout from the rooftops if need be. Post them on Twitter or Facebook. Whatever it takes. Go tell it to the mountain. Words indeed have power.



Go a step further. Write your goals in specific details, then set small, manageable, and measurable goals within a specific timeline—exact dates when you want to achieve them. Gather up like-minded, supportive people to form an accountability/mastermind group. You'll be unstoppable in no time.



Have a better vision of yourself. You can get the New Year (or anytime of the year, for that matter) off to a good start by implementing the tips I've just shared you. Just try it. I double-dog dare you! ;) Here's the deal. Let's set your personal goals, go for them, and see what happens. I'd love to know your progress and results. Let me know how I can support you! (And oh, for the record, if you'd love to shed some extra pounds and/or need a hand to manifest your soulmate, hey, that's definitely my cup of tea right there!)



So go get 'em, you fine human being you! ;) Remember, you are ALL THAT and a bag of chips and dips!





Artist. Musician. Writer. Linguist. Thinker. Sit-down comedienne. Professional amateur love philosopher. Mad Renaissance woman—and one more to add to the list: Skinny Jeans Diva. After the (previously) darn-near impossible feat of shedding six pant sizes, increasing energy and general health, plus packing on more weight in the self-confidence department as a result, Nancee-Laetitia Marin's unlikely detour back to health care after a lifetime community immersion in the field and a brief stint in nursing school led to a newfound passion of helping others discover their outer and inner beauty beyond skin(ny) deep through health, nutrition, and self-improvement.



http://twitter.com/SkinnyJeansDiva

www.facebook.com/nanceemarin

www.skinnyjeansdiva.com

Introducing LoveUnthorned

Hey everyone! Thanks for checking my blog out. I hope you find it interesting enough to keep coming and commenting. 
LoveUnthorned  was created because of my a passion for love. The real kind. The kind God intended for us. We are all so broken from past relationships; whether it is from your dad, your mom, your ex, your siblings, whomever, and whatever or maybe you just want to find that person for you. 


We are Seventh day Adventists and we believe God has impressed our hearts for this site for a reason. He will let it be as successful as it needs to. We trust Him fully and want His will to be done.

The release of the dating site will be February 12^th 2011!! So stay tuned! For now check out LoveUnthorned.info for additional information.

Would you like to help promote this site in your church?

loveunthorned@gmail.com and I will email you back as soon as possible. Promise ;)