The relationship is over.
The days, weeks, months, or years you both put into it just did not pay off in the way you initially hoped it would. Maybe you saw it coming; you felt as though it was the right thing to do. Or maybe it was sudden and you were blind-sided by their decision. Either way, you are left with a heart that is full with the thorns of confusion, hurt, betrayal and abandonment.
Then come the tears and accompanying them are the memories passing through your head of what used to be.
Sometimes what you feel isn’t sadness, but something mimicking anger, feeling betrayed. Whatever your reaction is, it stems from that feeling of being hurt.
During this period, you ruminate on what was said in the relationship, who was wrong, or who was MORE wrong than the other, what was done, reminiscing on the good times, the great times, the awesome times; thinking of the hard times, all the sacrifices made and all the promises broken. Hopefully during this time, you have an outlet. Preferably a really great friend who will listen to you go on and on about every little detail of the relationship. This part of the grieving is important. You are allowing yourself to let them go. If you swallow your feelings, it turns into anger and will project in your life through different mediums.
Surround yourself with positive people who will help you on your journey of letting go and starting fresh.
A lot of people return to their ex because of that feeling of sadness. We never want to feel things that are uncomfortable. Sadness is not a fond feeling so we sometimes seek out temporary aids to repress that feeling. But those things only serve as a Band-Aid. Remember to always identify what you’re feeling during this time. Don’t be afraid of the sadness, its normal and expected. Cope with it in healthy ways so that you can prepare yourself to serve Christ and then be ready for whomever He has waiting for you.
Remember what God says in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: Trust your struggle. Trust that God will increase your strength even though you feel weak, sad, hurt, betrayed. Your heart can lead you astray so don’t depend on it; allow God to lead you in the right direction.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
And whatever you do, do not settle for ‘Right Now’s’ because God is still preparing your ‘Forever’. Have Faith.
LU
Follow us on Twitter: @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LoveUnthornedConnect
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
Saturday, February 16, 2013
The Fastest and the Most Furious by TruHart
I have this little 98 Honda Accord. Her name is Chloe. Now Chloe has been very good to me over the years. But lately she’s been acting…hmm… a bit unruly, so to speak. She has been defiant, insubordinate, and sometimes she even talks back. Now, as you can imagine, this has been a great source of grief to me. I’ve invested so much time, energy, money, and tears…bitter tears into her. Sometimes I think about just abandoning her.
Some days I would literally make myself sick with worry. How am I gonna commute to school? How am I gonna commute to school? But after yet another unplanned trip to the mechanic today, I realized something. Chloe is not who, or what I think she is. In fact, Chloe isn’t Chloe at all. She is just a car, and there are far too many of those in existence for me to be stressing so badly over one.
Too often we place so much emphasis on things. We even humanize objects. We give them names and sometimes they get better treatment than our friends, family, and loved ones, but they are JUST things.
Easily replaceable. If “Chloe” refuses to start when I wake up, you know what? She can be replaced. And that will be the end of that. There will be no memorial, no wake, no funeral services. In fact, the only thing there would be if I got a new car would be joy.
So why do we get so bent out of shape about all these temporary things? Don’t make the common mistake of letting your possessions control your life. A lot of people work day in and day out to attain the American dream for the sole reason of appearances. I see it all the time. Doctors park the nicest cars to grace my line of vision for it to sit 18+ hours in hospital garages. Our image and how we appear to people are often more important to us than our beliefs. Your belongings do not define you.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Once you are aware of your identity, you’ll find yourself realizing what is truly important.
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LoveUnthornedConnect
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
Some days I would literally make myself sick with worry. How am I gonna commute to school? How am I gonna commute to school? But after yet another unplanned trip to the mechanic today, I realized something. Chloe is not who, or what I think she is. In fact, Chloe isn’t Chloe at all. She is just a car, and there are far too many of those in existence for me to be stressing so badly over one.
Too often we place so much emphasis on things. We even humanize objects. We give them names and sometimes they get better treatment than our friends, family, and loved ones, but they are JUST things.
Easily replaceable. If “Chloe” refuses to start when I wake up, you know what? She can be replaced. And that will be the end of that. There will be no memorial, no wake, no funeral services. In fact, the only thing there would be if I got a new car would be joy.
So why do we get so bent out of shape about all these temporary things? Don’t make the common mistake of letting your possessions control your life. A lot of people work day in and day out to attain the American dream for the sole reason of appearances. I see it all the time. Doctors park the nicest cars to grace my line of vision for it to sit 18+ hours in hospital garages. Our image and how we appear to people are often more important to us than our beliefs. Your belongings do not define you.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Once you are aware of your identity, you’ll find yourself realizing what is truly important.
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LoveUnthornedConnect
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thrown Overboard
So they picked up Jonah, threw him into the sea, and the sea stopped its raging. Jonah 1:15
The book of Jonah is a short read.
Jonah was a prophet who was sent to do something for God, and didn’t want to. He tried to run away from God by traveling to a different part of the world. While on his journey, he got thrown over on a boat where he was then swallowed by a whale and got spat up three days later. He finally finished the job God gave him to do later on in the story.
Four chapters, go read it.
Every once in a while, my family would have something called, Spring cleaning. We would clean our closets, wash the sheets, clothes, and the car, and sometimes we would paint parts of the house, and even plant seeds. Spring cleaning was a tedious job, but necessary to remove the clutter and get re-organized.
Growing up, I realized that this was also necessary to do in my personal life. Sometimes, I have to take record, re-organize and then remove the clutter in my life.
Jonah 1: 15 says “So they picked up Jonah, threw him into the sea, and the sea stopped its raging” and while reading this text, the question kept repeating in my head: What things do I need to throw overboard?
Sometimes when our life is in turmoil, it’s because we are also on the run from God. Sometimes we have to take account of what things/people need to be changed in some way.
What do we need to stop doing?
Who do we need to stop talking to or set boundaries with?
What do we need to start doing?
What do we need to throw overboard?
Some things are meant to stay in our lives for a season, and not all year long. So go ahead and start your Spring cleaning and pray before you start throwing away anything. God will direct your path like He promised in Proverbs 3:6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/LoveUn … 2288761278
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
The book of Jonah is a short read.
Jonah was a prophet who was sent to do something for God, and didn’t want to. He tried to run away from God by traveling to a different part of the world. While on his journey, he got thrown over on a boat where he was then swallowed by a whale and got spat up three days later. He finally finished the job God gave him to do later on in the story.
Four chapters, go read it.
Every once in a while, my family would have something called, Spring cleaning. We would clean our closets, wash the sheets, clothes, and the car, and sometimes we would paint parts of the house, and even plant seeds. Spring cleaning was a tedious job, but necessary to remove the clutter and get re-organized.
Growing up, I realized that this was also necessary to do in my personal life. Sometimes, I have to take record, re-organize and then remove the clutter in my life.
Jonah 1: 15 says “So they picked up Jonah, threw him into the sea, and the sea stopped its raging” and while reading this text, the question kept repeating in my head: What things do I need to throw overboard?
Sometimes when our life is in turmoil, it’s because we are also on the run from God. Sometimes we have to take account of what things/people need to be changed in some way.
What do we need to stop doing?
Who do we need to stop talking to or set boundaries with?
What do we need to start doing?
What do we need to throw overboard?
Some things are meant to stay in our lives for a season, and not all year long. So go ahead and start your Spring cleaning and pray before you start throwing away anything. God will direct your path like He promised in Proverbs 3:6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/LoveUn … 2288761278
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
Knowing You by TruHart
We place a lot of importance on relationships. It's to the point where you hear the word relationship and what immediately comes to mind is a romantic type of relationship. I believe that too often we place so much interpersonal relationships that we forget all about the intrapersonal: the relationship you have with yourself. This is probably one of the most important relationships that you will ever have.
Are you able to identify your strengths? Weaknesses?
Can you know 5 things that you like about yourself?
What are your pet peeves?
Do you treat yourself the way that you want someone else to treat you?
Ask yourself these questions. Spend a little more time reflecting and introspecting. Spend a little more time with you. You will find that the more familiar you become with yourself, the better your relationships with others will be.
I know that I have the tendency to beat myself up whenever I make a mistake.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. Identify your goals, passions, and desires, and then pursue them! These are the things that make life fulfilling. Once you learn to appreciate yourself and LOVE yourself, loving others will be a breeze..and not just any breeze, the kind of breeze that blows while you stand on a beach, cool sand beneath your toes, 82 degree weather. The kind of breeze that you find yourself closing your eyes in appreciation. This wind of love that you generate in your own life, will then waft into the lives of the people you love...but, remember, it begins with you.
Are you able to identify your strengths? Weaknesses?
Can you know 5 things that you like about yourself?
What are your pet peeves?
Do you treat yourself the way that you want someone else to treat you?
Ask yourself these questions. Spend a little more time reflecting and introspecting. Spend a little more time with you. You will find that the more familiar you become with yourself, the better your relationships with others will be.
I know that I have the tendency to beat myself up whenever I make a mistake.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. Identify your goals, passions, and desires, and then pursue them! These are the things that make life fulfilling. Once you learn to appreciate yourself and LOVE yourself, loving others will be a breeze..and not just any breeze, the kind of breeze that blows while you stand on a beach, cool sand beneath your toes, 82 degree weather. The kind of breeze that you find yourself closing your eyes in appreciation. This wind of love that you generate in your own life, will then waft into the lives of the people you love...but, remember, it begins with you.
The "Who", "What", and "How" in Relationships.
Hi all. Relationships are usually easy to get involved in but are hard to make work. Based on my experiences, experiences around me, some help from scripture and knowledge on relationships, I've answered the three most important questions, in relationships, in my opinion. I hope this is helpful for you.
1. Who? (Compatibility)
Most of us are pursuing the wrong partners. Pursue "equally-yoked" courtship. The Bible stresses the importance of practicing this principle.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" - 2 Corinthians 6:14
God says, "Do not court unbelievers." It's very clear that you should not be romantically involved with someone who doesn't share the same faith as you. However, before courtship, by grace converting is an option.
"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..." - 2 Timothy 3:16
Conversion is permissible, but it is risky in terms of relationships, in my opinion.
Being equally-yoked also translates to things like common interest which are important. It's fine to learn and grow together but it is also very helpful to share common interest. But even before this, not everyone needs to be in a relationship. Get yourself together before you involve someone else in your life.
2. What?
Love. Love? What's love got to do with it? Everything!
Most of us want to love, want to be loved or are loving, but do we even know what love is? Well let's talk about love. God made love and if there's anyway to love, I'd suggest doing it the way God made it to be done. It is the only way.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away." - 1 Cor 13:4-10
Please read, reread, and digest this. It is the true and only definition of love. It is also the way we ought to love, especially if we want our relationships to work.
3. How?
Endurance. Some of the "how" was touched with the definition of love. Endurance answers the how to make relationships work. You have to be willing rise above all conflicts and make things work. When it comes to relationships and love, God is clear on how we must live. Enduring, patient, long-suffering, faithful, loyal, humble, kind, and forgiving are just some of the many ways to love and enjoy someone that God has blessed you with.
Thank you for reading. I hope it brings light to your struggling or happy relationship. Be blessed!
Sean L Brereton
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sean.l.brereton
'Like' my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sean-L-B … 4093082883
1. Who? (Compatibility)
Most of us are pursuing the wrong partners. Pursue "equally-yoked" courtship. The Bible stresses the importance of practicing this principle.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" - 2 Corinthians 6:14
God says, "Do not court unbelievers." It's very clear that you should not be romantically involved with someone who doesn't share the same faith as you. However, before courtship, by grace converting is an option.
"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..." - 2 Timothy 3:16
Conversion is permissible, but it is risky in terms of relationships, in my opinion.
Being equally-yoked also translates to things like common interest which are important. It's fine to learn and grow together but it is also very helpful to share common interest. But even before this, not everyone needs to be in a relationship. Get yourself together before you involve someone else in your life.
2. What?
Love. Love? What's love got to do with it? Everything!
Most of us want to love, want to be loved or are loving, but do we even know what love is? Well let's talk about love. God made love and if there's anyway to love, I'd suggest doing it the way God made it to be done. It is the only way.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away." - 1 Cor 13:4-10
Please read, reread, and digest this. It is the true and only definition of love. It is also the way we ought to love, especially if we want our relationships to work.
3. How?
Endurance. Some of the "how" was touched with the definition of love. Endurance answers the how to make relationships work. You have to be willing rise above all conflicts and make things work. When it comes to relationships and love, God is clear on how we must live. Enduring, patient, long-suffering, faithful, loyal, humble, kind, and forgiving are just some of the many ways to love and enjoy someone that God has blessed you with.
Thank you for reading. I hope it brings light to your struggling or happy relationship. Be blessed!
Sean L Brereton
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sean.l.brereton
'Like' my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sean-L-B … 4093082883
Dealing with Depression
A lot of my clients have said that once they have allowed themselves to be captivated by the depressed mood; they stay there and are unable to shake it. So the first thing I would suggest is to
1. Get up! When you feel yourself sliding down, get up and do something. Hit the gym, go out with the guys, go see a funny movie, take a road trip to see a long distance friend. Just do something!
2. Reach out! Talk to someone. A friend, your Pastor, a therapist, a family member. Talk about what’s going on with you.
(Life Coaching: http://www.facebook.com/#!/SpringBoardInc)
3. Get involved! Do some volunteering somewhere. Sometimes it helps us to focus on others for a bit.
4. Get healthy! Research shows that diet and exercise can have an effect on our mood. So get a workout buddy and join your local gym.
5. Change your friends. My mother always said ‘If you lay with dogs, you will catch flees.’ So evaluate who you need to spend less time with and who you need to spend more time around.
6. St John’s Wort is a natural supplement that has been shown effective for some people depending on their level of depressed mood. Before taking any medication (natural/unnatural), consult a doctor.
7. Do something for you! Go get a massage, go to the spa, get a hobby, and or take a class.
8. Go to Church. Church can be encouraging for anyone; the sermon, the socializing with like-minded individuals can be a pick-me-up for many. Don’t have a church? Join one!
9. Create a Mental Health Day! A day that you use to do things you enjoy. In addition to Sabbath, do you have a day that you can use to breathe, relax, reflect on your life, organize your mind? Choose one!
I sincerely hope that these tips helped someone in some way. If you don’t think these tips match you, Google some more tips, speak with a therapist, speak with your Pastor.
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/LoveUn … 2288761278
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
1. Get up! When you feel yourself sliding down, get up and do something. Hit the gym, go out with the guys, go see a funny movie, take a road trip to see a long distance friend. Just do something!
2. Reach out! Talk to someone. A friend, your Pastor, a therapist, a family member. Talk about what’s going on with you.
(Life Coaching: http://www.facebook.com/#!/SpringBoardInc)
3. Get involved! Do some volunteering somewhere. Sometimes it helps us to focus on others for a bit.
4. Get healthy! Research shows that diet and exercise can have an effect on our mood. So get a workout buddy and join your local gym.
5. Change your friends. My mother always said ‘If you lay with dogs, you will catch flees.’ So evaluate who you need to spend less time with and who you need to spend more time around.
6. St John’s Wort is a natural supplement that has been shown effective for some people depending on their level of depressed mood. Before taking any medication (natural/unnatural), consult a doctor.
7. Do something for you! Go get a massage, go to the spa, get a hobby, and or take a class.
8. Go to Church. Church can be encouraging for anyone; the sermon, the socializing with like-minded individuals can be a pick-me-up for many. Don’t have a church? Join one!
9. Create a Mental Health Day! A day that you use to do things you enjoy. In addition to Sabbath, do you have a day that you can use to breathe, relax, reflect on your life, organize your mind? Choose one!
I sincerely hope that these tips helped someone in some way. If you don’t think these tips match you, Google some more tips, speak with a therapist, speak with your Pastor.
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/LoveUn … 2288761278
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
When it's more than sadness...
Depression is a word I know too well.
In exactly one month, I will be able to say that I’m therapist, so I hear it in class, I see it in the text books, I read about it in the DSM and I see it in my clients. I’m surrounded by it. I’m surrounded with people who are just having a bad day, who easily proclaim that they are depressed. Then I’m also around people who are so depressed, they can’t even mumble the words ‘I need help’.
Depression is more than feeling sad; it’s this deep deep sadness that is very difficult to just brush off. It’s when you wake up and you wish you were still sleeping. It’s when you can’t see any future because you can’t imagine living the next 2years. Constantly.
This poem sort of sums it up. Take a read:
http://www.loveunthorned.com/member/1/b … isticPoet/
According to statistics, many things might contribute to depression. Two of these things include:
1. Genetics (biological)
Chances are if your mother, father, sister, grandmother, Uncle and Aunt has dealt with depression; you might at some point in your life, deal with depression.
2. Situation
Many situations may affect your mood. In this economy, losing a job has become a big reason some people seek out counseling.
Do I have depression?
I can’t answer that and neither will this brief article. However, according to the DSM-IV, to meet the requirements for depression, certain criterion needs to be met. All of them are not listed, but they include:
•Depressed mood most of the day
•Lack of interest in things you used to enjoy
•Significant weight loss or weight gain
•Sleeping too much or too little
•Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
If you feel you might be suffering from depression, visit a therapist. A list of Christian therapists can be found here:
http://www.findchristiancounselor.com/? … 7QodSjA7-w
A therapist may be able to help you decide what options you would like to take in treating your depression. Maybe it’s some deep-rooted issue that you need to talk about; maybe medication will be the best route. Your therapist will help you decide what’s best for you.
Not ready for a therapist? Consult with a LifeCoach!
http://flavors.me/springboard
'like' them on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SpringBoardInc
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Have you dealt with Depression? What treatment method (s), if any, works for you?
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/LoveUn … 2288761278
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
Reference:
American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-IV-TR. Washington, DC: bauer, M., Suppes, P. & Thase, M.
In exactly one month, I will be able to say that I’m therapist, so I hear it in class, I see it in the text books, I read about it in the DSM and I see it in my clients. I’m surrounded by it. I’m surrounded with people who are just having a bad day, who easily proclaim that they are depressed. Then I’m also around people who are so depressed, they can’t even mumble the words ‘I need help’.
Depression is more than feeling sad; it’s this deep deep sadness that is very difficult to just brush off. It’s when you wake up and you wish you were still sleeping. It’s when you can’t see any future because you can’t imagine living the next 2years. Constantly.
This poem sort of sums it up. Take a read:
http://www.loveunthorned.com/member/1/b … isticPoet/
According to statistics, many things might contribute to depression. Two of these things include:
1. Genetics (biological)
Chances are if your mother, father, sister, grandmother, Uncle and Aunt has dealt with depression; you might at some point in your life, deal with depression.
2. Situation
Many situations may affect your mood. In this economy, losing a job has become a big reason some people seek out counseling.
Do I have depression?
I can’t answer that and neither will this brief article. However, according to the DSM-IV, to meet the requirements for depression, certain criterion needs to be met. All of them are not listed, but they include:
•Depressed mood most of the day
•Lack of interest in things you used to enjoy
•Significant weight loss or weight gain
•Sleeping too much or too little
•Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
If you feel you might be suffering from depression, visit a therapist. A list of Christian therapists can be found here:
http://www.findchristiancounselor.com/? … 7QodSjA7-w
A therapist may be able to help you decide what options you would like to take in treating your depression. Maybe it’s some deep-rooted issue that you need to talk about; maybe medication will be the best route. Your therapist will help you decide what’s best for you.
Not ready for a therapist? Consult with a LifeCoach!
http://flavors.me/springboard
'like' them on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SpringBoardInc
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Have you dealt with Depression? What treatment method (s), if any, works for you?
LU
Follow us on Twitter @LoveUnthorned
‘Like’ us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/LoveUn … 2288761278
loveunthorned.blogspot.com
Contact us to speak about us at your church at loveunthorned@gmail.com
Reference:
American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-IV-TR. Washington, DC: bauer, M., Suppes, P. & Thase, M.
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