The Quickie, Bite-Sized Guide to Surviving the Holidays as a Singleton by Nancee-Laetitia Marin

The Quickie, Bite-Sized Guide to Surviving the Holidays as a Singleton

by Nancee-Laetitia Marin



Chestnuts roasting on an open fire—and all that jazz and rock 'n roll. Mad holiday shopping sprees. Caroling out in the crisp winter wonderland. Nativity scenes, Christmas tree lights, camera, action. Ah, that wonderful time of the year to enjoy the festivities with your favorite people—friends, family, and that special someone...



Oh, wait a minute. Special someone? Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis? Oops, Santa must have skipped that part! You might think he must have had selective amnesia when he was checking your list! Everyone seems to be all coupled up for the holidays! It just makes you go into a full-on bah-humbug mode. So much for dreaming of a white Christmas when you're feeling so blue! It's not easy being single, especially when you're already stressed out and overwhelmed around this time of the year.



So what's a good, nice yet mateless person to do during the holidays? Ah, that nagging feeling of loneliness and isolation! Let's face it—being single, to put it bluntly, DOES SUCK, whether you've experienced the passing of a constant companion, gotten divorced, dumped mercilessly, or simply haven't been able to find that special person for a considerable amount of time. I can attest to that, having been SINGLE for EVERY SINGLE holiday season, 33 years in a row—and being 86'd just before my birthday and the holiday season this year! (Thankfully, things have turned around in that department quite recently, but that's entirely another topic for another time!)



But remember—just like how that good ol' Jacko tune goes: You are NOT alone. We came into this world single, and die single. That's just a plain fact. We spend a huge chunk of our lives single. Yet we are made to feel like the fifth wheel, especially in church communities where coupledom (especially of the matrimonial sort), quite unfortunately, seems to be the Holy Grail. (Apparently, they don't call the "singles" group "singles" for nothing—a group for people who feel simply "singled" out!)



But, good singles, all rejoice! Here's the truth:



*Almost half of the US population is single. More than 96 million Americans—43% of adult US residents—are unmarried. This is the highest percentage ever.



*30% of 45-64-year-olds are single!



*The percentage of divorced singles has doubled in 30 years and the never-marrieds have increased from 5.3% to 9.6%.



There you have it, America—and the rest of the world! Singleness isn't a disease or a rarity. You ARE NOT an anomaly.



So what's a good, nice, decent, yet mateless person to do? Quite a few, actually! Here are some pointers to get your motor running:





1. Connect with people!



-Have a fun get-together with friends and/or family—meals, karaoke or jam sessions, game night, or whatever your imagination conjures up!



-Join or form social or support groups, be it church groups or other religious/spiritual groups (depending on your persuasion), special interest/activity groups online (sites such as Meetup.com, social networking, online communities or distance programs/courses), or locally offline (in real-time). Yes, there is SOMETHING and SOMEONE for everyone, no matter how quaint or quirky or unusual your tastes, views, or preferences, no matter which side of Planet Earth you live on. You don't have to feel isolated. There are people out there who are in alignment with your goals, views, desires, and interests. All you have to do is to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and JUST DO IT! Network to your heart's content. And yes, you'll NEVER know whom you're going to meet! You could meet THE ONE that way! If not, just keep on truckin'! You have nothing to lose and a lot more to gain by pursuing your passions more deeply and intensely. You become a well-rounded individual. You have a lot more to offer to the world. When and if you do meet that person, you've become an asset to your partner.



Belonging to social groups has its own additional perks. It has been shown to improve physical and mental health. The support in social groups provides more strength, good feelings, resiliency in facing challenges, better coping, and increased immunity. Now you've got no excuse to have a lonely pity party!



-Volunteer for a cause close to your heart or whatever fancies you, whether it be the animal shelter, feeding the homeless, tutoring schoolchildren, etc. The list is endless. Again, you'll never know whom you're going to meet there! It also gives you a sense of worthiness as a human being. You are contributing something of great value to others. Realize that you DO have the resources that others don't have. Be grateful for this fact. Count your blessings. Remember that you are spreading love. This is definitely worth repeating like a broken record, but remember this spiritual principle: you'll reap what you sow. You'll receive the rewards in some shape or form. The more love you give, the more will return to you.



2. Do something you (would) enjoy!



Do whatever floats your boat—pets, retail therapy (just be careful not to OD on it!), music, arts and crafts, mani/pedi/massage, take a trip, or just do something a little unusual to break up the monotony, as long as you don't run the risk of severe injury and breaking the law, of course! (Perhaps take up knitting sweaters for miniature Dachshunds—well, you get the idea.) Entertain yourself! Amuse yourself! Discover or rediscover your passions and interests as well. What makes you tick? What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about? Do things that you love. God has put them in you for a reason. Spend time with people who share the same interests or at least people who support you in your endeavors and passions. Do something you've always wanted to do but never got around to it. You'll be surprised. You'll realize that you've got MORE POWER than you thought you did. That in itself brings more self-confidence and self-esteem. More positive domino effect to follow. And yes, you'll never know that you'll find what you've been looking for by just doing what you've always enjoyed doing! Or perhaps you'll stumble upon new discoveries! The possibilities are just plain exciting, so open yourself up to them!



3. Know thyself! Strut your stuff!



Embrace your best physical features (everyone has them!), your talents, your qualities—the things that make you GREATLY UNIQUE and UNIQUELY GREAT! And why NOT make them EVEN BETTER? Whatever goal you want to achieve, make sure it comes from WITHIN you, inspired and fueled by ONLY your authentic passion, your own standards, not what others think you should adopt!



4. Dream on, set your intention, and JUST DO IT!



What is it that you've always wanted to do? What would make you feel better about yourself (in a constructive way, of course)? Let's say you want to find that love of your life or you're feeling inspired to get slim to look more attractive and/or to improve or maintain your health. Just give it a shot. I can guarantee you that once when you start feeling more energized, trimmer, and healthier physically, your self-esteem and self-confidence level will soar. With it you may attract opportunities and people you've desired. Again, be open to possibilities!



Let others know about your goals and desires. Declare them. Shout from the rooftops if need be. Post them on Twitter or Facebook. Whatever it takes. Go tell it to the mountain. Words indeed have power.



Go a step further. Write your goals in specific details, then set small, manageable, and measurable goals within a specific timeline—exact dates when you want to achieve them. Gather up like-minded, supportive people to form an accountability/mastermind group. You'll be unstoppable in no time.



Have a better vision of yourself. You can get the New Year (or anytime of the year, for that matter) off to a good start by implementing the tips I've just shared you. Just try it. I double-dog dare you! ;) Here's the deal. Let's set your personal goals, go for them, and see what happens. I'd love to know your progress and results. Let me know how I can support you! (And oh, for the record, if you'd love to shed some extra pounds and/or need a hand to manifest your soulmate, hey, that's definitely my cup of tea right there!)



So go get 'em, you fine human being you! ;) Remember, you are ALL THAT and a bag of chips and dips!





Artist. Musician. Writer. Linguist. Thinker. Sit-down comedienne. Professional amateur love philosopher. Mad Renaissance woman—and one more to add to the list: Skinny Jeans Diva. After the (previously) darn-near impossible feat of shedding six pant sizes, increasing energy and general health, plus packing on more weight in the self-confidence department as a result, Nancee-Laetitia Marin's unlikely detour back to health care after a lifetime community immersion in the field and a brief stint in nursing school led to a newfound passion of helping others discover their outer and inner beauty beyond skin(ny) deep through health, nutrition, and self-improvement.



http://twitter.com/SkinnyJeansDiva

www.facebook.com/nanceemarin

www.skinnyjeansdiva.com

I’m nothing without a man!

Alone in your room, with the thoughts racing through your head. Thoughts of life, love, memories. Thoughts you do not want to be trusted with alone. They make you cry, they make you cut, they make you scream, they make you drink, they make you hurt. You don’t like these thoughts. So you call the girl you met last night and the night alone turns into a sex-filled room with Vodka on the dresser and dirty clothes on the floor and for that moment you aren’t left with the memories. Or you stay with the man who doesn’t make you happy and doesn’t understand your needs because you think it’s better to be with him than be alone. How can you be fulfilled in a relationship when you aren’t able to be by yourself and LOVE yourself? Feeling down? Read Psalms 25:16-17 and Jeremiah 29:11 for encouragement.

Psalms 25: 16-17 Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distress.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

True happiness doesn’t come from your partner. Where do you think it comes from?

LU

So those Seventh Day Adventists, are they a cult?

This will be more of an informational blog as a way to better understand Seventh Day Adventists. Here we will discuss everything including beliefs, history and how we do NOT worship Ellen G White. A lot of people have been in the church for years and still do not know who we really are. This section goes to breaking it down and giving you a better understanding of us so you can pass on the word that we are not a cult.

Let’s get the truth

Our 28 Fundamental Beliefs:

1.       Holy Scriptures

2.       Trinity

3.       Father

4.       Son

5.       Holy Spirit

6.       Creation

7.       Nature of Man

8.       Great Controversy

9.       Life, death and resurrection of Christ

10.   Experience of Salvation

11.   Growing in Christ

12.   Church

13.   Remnant and its Mission

14.   Unity in the Body of Christ

15.   Baptism

16.   The Lord’s Supper

17.   Spiritual Gifts and Ministries

18.   The gift of prophecy

19.   Law of God

20.   Sabbath

21.   Stewardship

22.   Christian Behavior

23.   Marriage and the Family

24.   Christ’s Ministry in the Heavenly Sanctuary

25.   Second Coming of Christ

26.   Death and Resurrection

27.   Millennium and the End of Sin

28.   New Earth

Source: Adventist.org

http://www.adventist.org/beliefs/fundamental/index.html

Drugs, Sex and Temporary Highs

We get to a place in life where we are searching for something. We try different things to fill the ‘void’ we think is in our hearts. Some people think its love that they need and go on this desperate search to find a lover. This ends devastatingly with 6 sex partners later and a broken heart and they suddenly realize that the ‘void’ is still there. Some people think its structure and they go through rituals every day and stick by man-made laws and rules but still find them-selves lonely with a ‘void’ still within them. Some people pick up drinking/drugs because of the hurt, the pain, the shame that is within them and when they get down from their high they realize that the drugs and the alcohol were only temporary fixes. Some people use other people so that they are never alone because when alone they have to deal with the thoughts that haunt them but when left with the silence, they are still left with a ‘void.’

Searching for something or someone that we can only find in Jesus; the void doesn’t get filled with the worldly things of this earth. It only gets filled when we sincerely look to Christ. How can the things of this World set us free, when this World isn’t our home? We are only set free when we look to Christ and allow Him to cleanse us and save us. First we have to acknowledge that we have failed at filling that ‘void’ ourselves. And be willing to allow God to save us, after all He is the Savior, not us.

Zephaniah 3:17

The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in his love, He will joy over thee with singing.




LU

And they lived happily Ever after?

You want to do something tonight but it's raining so you decide to surf the channels and you stop at a romantic comedy. (You know the ones I’m talking about) The movie starts like they always do; a damsel in distress of some kind waiting to be rescued by her knight in shining armor.

Seems like the perfect story and although you don’t know it yet, it has implanted something in your brain that says ‘this is what love is supposed to be like’, ‘men are supposed to be rescuers and women are supposed to be damsels in distress.’

Then forward two months later when you go out and meet a nice guy who respects his mom and cries when you hurt his feelings, or a woman who tells you she doesn’t need to be rescued and it confuses you. Maybe it even repulses you because men are supposed to be ‘strong’ and women are supposed to be ‘weak’ according to that movie you watched, that you didn’t even know left a message in your head.

At LoveUnthorned, the first thing we want to do is CHALLENGE you to rethink your pre-conceived notions of love. It’s a journey but it will change your life forever. This is what makes us different. Love isn’t a fairy-tale.

Thorns around the heart... What gives?

Logo Explained:

The thorns around the heart symbolize the pain, the hurt, the need, and the vulnerability. The pain our last relationships caused us, the hurt we feel because of our moving away from Christ, the need for something better and the vulnerability it causes for us to be hurt again. This is the way we used to think about love. 
The releasing of the thorns symbolizes the openness, the desire, the love, and the change. The openness so that God can mend our past hurts, the desire for finding love the Adventist way, the love being revamped and revived in our hearts for God and the change that will definitely come if we allow God to work through us. The way God intended love to be.
At the top of the heart is the thorn tightening its grip, trying to hold on to us so that we will be broken forever. However, by following God's will, the thorns start to release at the bottom to let go of the brokenness and hurt. After reconnecting with God, your heart becomes open to accept the love He intended for you.


LoveUnthorned works to help release the thorns from your heart so that you can love the way God intended in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8; Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Taken from our promotional site: Loveunthorned.info
Follow us on twitter: twitter.com/loveunthorned
Like us on facebook!

Promo site!

A pre-site before the actual site!
Yes! Loveunthorned.info is officially up and running! Go ahead, check it out and let us know what you think! We are passionate about the mission and anyone else who would like to use their talents for Christ, email us on the contact page or 'like' us on facebook! We are still developing a trusted team.


LU